Queer Doc (they/them): Hello Welcome back to the queer CME podcast. I am super excited to actually welcome Grayson joined me back in March. for a panel of trans folks,…
Grayson Schultz: I think so.
Queer Doc (they/them): to What We always wish our prescribing clinicians new about our sexual health care needs and I was just super impressed with Grayson's work and comments and Brain the way you think about things and then your ability to communicate them and I just was really thrilled when you agreed to come back on the podcast. So please share with everyone who you are and what you do.
Grayson Schultz: Thank I'm super happy to hang out with Always fun to get the chance to catch up with folks. I am Grayson Schultz, I am
Grayson Schultz: For lack of one, inclusive term, a polymath, I do a bajillion different things. And was lately diagnosed with ADHD, in the last two years, which explains a lot. but I do sex education, I do a lot around healthcare and talking about specifically, How do we make every part of healthcare equitable accessible inclusive to all of our communities, So I am a part of a group called Omer Act where we do rheumatology clinical trial stuff. We create tools to measure, satisfaction with different outcomes or readiness to make med changes or whatever else happens. And I am on five groups and all the Strategic Advisory group for that which is delightfully fun.
Grayson Schultz: And my day job, I work for a company called Power to Fly where I write. Scripts for content and short videos or courses that help educate folks about, diversity, equity inclusion and belonging. So the intersection of all of that is kind of where you find me and a little trans disabled queer Neurodivergent. puddle at times, but
Queer Doc (they/them): I love it. Would you mind sharing with folks your pronouns and your identity?
Grayson Schultz: Yeah, absolutely. So I am a white trans, man. I often will do non-binary trans, man. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what my identities are or the words that match them. I use him Totally also cool with They/them. And then, I have a laundry list of chronic illness, disability fun, and neurodivergence and queer engaged getting married in September. Left my ring and the other room.
Grayson Schultz: but, Really enjoying very queer wedding planning too. Just
Queer Doc (they/them): Nice, thank you so much for sharing. I want to pause because I forgot to tell you I can edit. So if you ever say something you want to do a retake just pause. So I get a easy edit cut point and start over.
Queer Doc (they/them): Okay, thank you so much for sharing. so many of your labels and your intersectional spaces and the work you do, I
Queer Doc (they/them): we're just gonna devolve on today's episode. I was talking with Grayson right before we started about how I'm coming back from an event and just having a hard time. Getting my brain back in work mode. And I'm like let's talk about my pronouns now because they just changed. Yeah, I identify as them, which similar to you, maybe when One of the easiest ways for me to strive it to other people. Even though it isn't necessarily a word, I strongly attach to as non-binary, right? Fem is not in the binary space for me, it doesn't have necessarily anything to do with the socially constructed idea of female or woman and
Queer Doc (they/them): but to communicate that to other people, I feel like non-binary is a good shortcut and I point around with neo pronouns are off and on for a year's and just always about you but I run into the lake.
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Queer Doc (they/them): I don't think I have the energy to ask society to do that for me, I think some of those words feel better for me and feel more For me and one more space where I'm gonna have to advocate for myself and I am tired. And so I Just made them to teach and me, Thank you which will only really be noticeable in writing. And so it felt like a little more accessible maybe and a little less energy output for me. And I have a phenomenally, awesome ally human, who is doing some
Queer Doc (they/them): copy editing for me and I can change all your pronouns On your content, just like that.
Grayson Schultz: Okay.
Queer Doc (they/them): So I was like, I don't have to do that part, amazing. Thank you. so, Yeah, I don't know where it's evolving, but identities, I always tell my patients, for some people gender as a destination and for other people, it's a journey and anything for our primary audience being prescribers. I think it's really important for To hear that. If you are an Allied provider and have less experience and exposure to our community and rate and
Queer Doc (they/them): our concept of our gender might not fit your idea of what you think it should look like in order to access gender affirming care. And you can always come and talk to me about that if you need some support from a clinician, who's gonna be and my community and my patients do not need to fit an endosys heteronormative ideal of what trans is in order to access gender, affirming care, which is hilarious, because they're talking to a binary trans woman this morning who identifies as a lesbian. I'm just boring now. I'm not queer, I'm not kinky, I'm not probably later. I just feel so vanilla and there's no one I can date because no one else wants to be monogamous and a lesbian anymore.
Queer Doc (they/them): I was like,
Grayson Schultz: It's so hard.
Queer Doc (they/them): yeah so we have devolved into just sharing about my personal experience and let's get back to Grayson's work because I think Grayson has some really phenomenal resources for clinicians and for your patients to share with your patients and I think and, I've spent some time on your website and chronic sex.org and very specifically actually, this morning, I was working on some content around, ethical Mom and on me because that's kind of what I'm teaching this month and the next month I'm teaching Holly 101 and Kink 101 for clinicians and so you have some great resources on your website. What do you think are highlights reels for our listeners?
Grayson Schultz: My gosh, that's such a good question and there's so many things, but
Queer Doc (they/them): and you can share, if you want as well because you video YouTube, this in addition to audio,
Grayson Schultz: That's true. Let me find I'll pull up the main page first. We can do that. So I'm also going to apologize because my dogs are downstairs barking at something. I don't know what.
Queer Doc (they/them): Go for it, dog.
Grayson Schultz: But one of them has killed foreground hogs in the list.
Queer Doc (they/them): no.
Grayson Schultz: We gonna have and had never killed other things before. I walked into the guest room because That's his bed. He nests there. And I thought he had one of his toys and I was like, there's teeth. so
Queer Doc (they/them): That's a lot to walk in on.
Grayson Schultz: this phone week. But yeah, this is chronic sex.org.
Grayson Schultz: It is one of my little corners of the world. So, under the resource tab, I see myself for people who, are familiar with things, like Lord of the Rings where they're smog the dragon and he's just sitting on a bunch of treasure that's always see myself with resources, if somebody tells me kind of what they're looking for, I'm like, I can totally find that and I don't know how I figured out how to do all these things. It's weird, but I love having the skill. So I've got a ton of different pages on here, but one of the ones that I am really proud of is this accessibility page. as somebody who is also disabled and has a number of friends who, have vision issues, who struggle to read different texts. What have you? I really
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Grayson Schultz: Put a lot of effort into kind of best practices collecting videos from folks, like Annie Segarra, and others talking about how to create accessible spaces, why it's important to make your activism accessible, all of those kinds of things. Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): And when you scroll back down a little bit. there's just a list for accessibility basics here and any clinicians you own a private practice or are part of a smaller group where you don't have a whole accessibility department or team working for your healthcare system. This is like a phenomenal Pile of treasure, we'll call it right, and for building out your website, and your social media content and patient portal stuff. and FYI, small practice people are websites, are required by the federal government to have accessibility incorporated into them. And so, if you don't have that, And I'm done. It looks like yes. Grayson has a link for it as well.
Grayson Schultz: Yes that will help walk you through kind of the basics and then this tips for using accessible social media, we'll walk you through how to write image descriptions for folks who are blind or maybe folks who have migraines or other folks who might want to read text about what your photo is instead of trying to figure out. How to read something that has no contrast, which also please check your color contrasts on things. my gosh. The amount of horrifying Contrast I've seen. But yeah, so this is a really big page. There's information further down at the bottom about the different.
Grayson Schultz: Laws in the US around accessibility and so they can kind of talk you through what's covered under specific titles, of the ADA, all of that stuff, which is really helpful. I have a list of companies and people that I like just to let people know that, there's things that, everybody should know about different companies. I won't highlight it here because I don't want to get anyone in trouble but In the General tab, I've got this is not necessarily sex specific but tips that make living with illnesses easier or resources on how to access financial help or things like that for disabilities and chronic illnesses podcasts. I like not all of these things are like sex based either.
Queer Doc (they/them): And for our listeners, I think, when you have time yourself to comb through Grayson's website,…
Grayson Schultz: Some.
Queer Doc (they/them): phenomenal, just to make yourself a little more familiar with it and also to get an idea of if you don't have a disability, like what it is moving through the world with one, all of the things that we think about moving through the world with bodies and brains, that maybe work a little differently than expected, right by society. and if you don't have time to do that totally understandable, If you have, a student learner at your institution or working with you, or if you have a social worker or a nurse case manager, kind of asking them to come through. Some of these things and finding y'all's favorite list is a phenomenal way to
Queer Doc (they/them): And manage resources and then also just sharing the primary website with your patients, right? You might be interested in some of these things, particularly around accessibility and disability access and interactions and specifically we are talking about sexual health, more heavily over this current black and very specifically Grayson talks about the intersection of sexual health and disability and multiple things,…
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): which if you are watching the YouTube version you can see on the screen now Yeah. Yeah.
Grayson Schultz: So I have, books, I have shops, I have all sorts of things of people that talk about life at the intersections, Whether it's like sex and disability or have fun ethical non monogamy like moving through the world. In an open relationship knowing that that's not always the easiest thing, I think the things there's a lot on the website from Basics around, Anti-lgbtq attitudes to the justice system. basically, I wanted it to be a space where people could learn about all identities. But also it was really primarily focused on the ones that I have just because it's easiest for me to speak from my own experience, right? But we've also got things on body image, gender identity masturbation.
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Queer Doc (they/them): Pull up your Talking to Doctor's page.
Grayson Schultz: Yeah, yeah. So this page, I need to update it a little bit. But it's got a list of articles from folks who are like Hey these are things you need to talk to your doctor about sex about, you need to talk to them about if you're having pain while having penetrative sex, like you're not supposed to. So unless that's your specifically, setting up for that.
Queer Doc (they/them): But sometimes people are supposed to.
Grayson Schultz: And that's Right there. But you generally seeing Yes.
Queer Doc (they/them): But we wanted to be intentionally infused. Yes.
Grayson Schultz: So, There's also some links about specific conditions, talking to your doctor about sex. When you have a form of arthritis, or if you have cancer and different things, you might need to know about your sexual health and cancer, which is something that not a ton of people talk about. So thankfully, it's gotten more and more talked about which is awesome but it's a topic that is still pretty taboo. And then I've got links about just dating or communication or sex, or sex toys, I do occasionally test sex toys. So I'll write up, my experience with them. I also try to make sure that I'm talking about accessibility features. So, if there's a toy that I really like,
Grayson Schultz: But part of why I like it is because I also I'll make sure to highlight this toy has a remote you should buy this way right. And as we're talking about dating and…
Queer Doc (they/them): Right.
Grayson Schultz: disability, different links about how to own your sexuality. How to think about red flags, what red flags look like in a relationship, So if you have a patient that you're like, You should not be dating this person. Don't interfere. But also be like, hey, Maybe this page will be interesting, it's one of those things that I Try to help with. And then there's also section here for people who are not disabled of
Grayson Schultz: Some things people would like them to know right different articles from folks talking about how much they appreciate their partner or how important it is to create shared language to talk about sex or relationships stuff and all the way. The top. There is a page.
Grayson Schultz: specifically, for healthcare providers that I've just like going to bunch of things to So, there's other pages on the Web page that we're on on chronic sex, that may be helpful. There's some tips and tricks for creating spaces where you have signs that are inclusive, where the language you're using and your clinic spaces inclusive, how you make your primary care clinic and exam rooms, trans friendly. What does it look like to work with?
Grayson Schultz: Youth who are queer or trans and also have gone through trauma, what might you need to think about differently than you would if you are just kind of a normal family care provider and you don't necessarily focus in on specific communities and you're not as tuned into that stuff, the different things you might see.
Queer Doc (they/them): And I think, The shift, like I want to ask I'm just gonna like, …
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): use this as a PSA moment, right? The shift I want to ask is even if you are a normal primary care provider and the trans community is not your area of focus is to stop assuming that your patients aren't trans, and right.
Grayson Schultz: Yes.
Queer Doc (they/them): And even though trans people represent a generally small percentage of the population, marginalized people in some fashion, We represent a large percentage of the population when you think of us as a total group right? Whether that marginalization is our ethnicity or the color of our skin, our ability or size, or the way our brain works.
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Queer Doc (they/them): And there are some commonalities in making any marginalized person feel welcome that will serve you working with all patients, not just marginalized patients, right? So when we as clinicians, do a better job of being inclusive of everyone, our SIS hut able-bodied, then white patients benefit from that, right? Because they get an opportunity and to be even more welcome and even more seen. And so, I just think, all of these techniques while we talk about them, specific to different identities, they actually serve all of us and the more we undo these assumptions of our patients being SIS or of our patients being straight or of our patients, being of our patients being neurotypical. And the more space we give people to actually figure out who they are because when as clinicians put them in a box, it gives them less access.
Queer Doc (they/them): Right to other ways of seeing themselves that might actually be valid for them. I think about this all the time because I grew up in a traditional Southern Baptist home in North Florida, right, and it took my Abusive ex-husband telling me I think you might not be straight, to really start questioning and understanding who I am and
Queer Doc (they/them): I don't know that it would have ever occurred to me, Because I had just been presented with a world of boxes that I was supposed to fit into and I didn't fit into any other guy, literally not fit into any of them ever, but I didn't have the language or framework to even look outside of those boxes. And so, as clinicians if we give people That key. And they might learn new things about themselves that are just like
Queer Doc (they/them): Life-changing and so it's just one of the reasons I think this is so important and all these resources that Grayson has up here are really really really useful and beneficial. And I do think Grayson you do like a pretty phenomenal job of pulling together intersectional resources…
Grayson Schultz: Thanks.
Queer Doc (they/them): which is huge Because it's really easy for me to talk about queer and trans. Accessibility in clinical spaces.
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): But to layer on to that lens also neurodiverse to say, disabled by talk and size accessibility stuff is just like I'm not speaking from lived experiences and all of those spaces, and so, it gets harder and just feel like you've been really intentional about that,
Grayson Schultz: it's definitely one of those things that I try to make sure that there's stuff in here and On the Healthcare Provider page, not all of it is healthcare related by any means, But the more we talk about all of these intersections the word that we can talk about how they influence our ability to help, being somebody who grew up chronically ill and not having access to healthcare, my real introduction As somebody really utilized in the healthcare system, quite heavily was being a college senior and going to get my
Grayson Schultz: Rheumatology Diagnosis reaffirms that I could access medication finally and running into things about being somebody who's heavier at that point, being a very young woman who knew a lot about rheumatology at a time where I don't know, it wasn't popular to know about, health stuff as much. And so wow, this kid, I think, spent too much time on WebMD, or whatever. And, you navigating those spaces, as someone who survived abuse, is kinky, as somebody who Meets so many of these faces. I think it's also one of those things of knowing that, I
Grayson Schultz: Can make a difference for people down the line. Walking into clinic spaces and feeling like they belong there because There's a queer disabled, couple in this poster, right? And maybe the posters two inches by three inches, it's a tiny picture on a bigger poster or something. But, having it there, Makes a difference.
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Queer Doc (they/them): Let's talk a little bit about. I know we've been touring your website, which is phenomenal and We will tour some of other Grayson's, favorite resources later, but let's talk a little bit about
Queer Doc (they/them): What We Think Healthcare clinicians, know about trans disabled people. What is that?
Grayson Schultz: so, the first thing is that we have sex
Queer Doc (they/them): Yes, that's one. let me rephrase that I was gonna say we want to have sex. Not everyone wants to have sex and right and definitely there are some people who identify as asexual and don't want to have sex. There are some people who identify as asexual and do what to have sex. Asexual is an identity and doesn't necessarily mean anything about what someone's sexual practices are going to be. but I think what Grayson is getting at, Is that people often assume when we are disabled and also when we're fat, That we don't want to have sex like that that's not something we're interested in that. That's not part of our daily life or activities and those assumptions are Peyton me false.
Queer Doc (they/them): so, step one. We want to have sex Step Two. We might define sex very differently than you do.
Grayson Schultz: Absolutely absolutely.
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah. What is your favorite functioning definition of sex these days?
Grayson Schultz: my God. I don't know that I've ever actually thought about it, which is hilarious, because it's been almost 10 years of sex, ed work, but
Grayson Schultz: I feel like people run into a trap where they define it by orgasm, and you don't need to define it, but orgasm sex doesn't need to have orgasms involved, People who have an orgasmia can't orgasm for medical reasons, medication stuff, whatever can still have fun and enjoy themselves. So I think it's if we were going to get really broad with it and plenty of things then could fall under sex, which I think is fine. I'm all for extending that definition so that people stop thinking of it is so taboo but The act of like bringing yourself pleasure or bringing in other person or person's pleasure, singular, in small groups, whatever, but of bringing each other pleasure,
Grayson Schultz: That might just be what it is. Being each other pleasure,…
Queer Doc (they/them): Done period.
Grayson Schultz: period. in which case all, if you make me a cheesecake, I'm gonna just We're having sex. It's fine. Okay, you brought me a cheesecake,…
Queer Doc (they/them): Also love cheesecake right here.
Grayson Schultz: we're having sex.
Queer Doc (they/them): And yeah, I think. I often like sidestep the question entirely and say, Sex is defined by the people having it, So whoever,…
Grayson Schultz: I like,
Queer Doc (they/them): whoever the people who have chosen to engage in sex together, they get to decide what sex is in that moment for them. but I think the big thing, right, that neither, Grace and I are or I said was anything to do with penetration. so many of just our society as a whole rate and really still functions from a space like misogynistic views of sex, right? That and sex is putting something inside of someone else.
Queer Doc (they/them): And we will just get on this hi-hat. I've been on it for months now and this is one of the biggest problematic themes for me with the term vaginoplasty because very frequently, When we are talking about vaginoplasty, we're actually talking about the creation of a vulva and of vagina. And a vagina is anatomically defined as an internal canal and the colloquial use of vagina to meet all of the genital anatomy of people with vulvas and vaginas really centers in this space of massage me because the only important part of the anatomy is the part where someone can put something in. And so we don't even bother to learn the names of the rest of it. We just call it all of the China and the fact that the healthcare system has leaned into that colloquial use of the term.
Queer Doc (they/them): To call vulva vaginoplasty is by no means an Pile of frustration for me and particularly again. This is one of those things where we are creating boxes for our patients. That they might not want because some of my patients don't actually want to vagina and some of my patients don't actually want to vulva, but if I don't give them the language to talk about these things with their surgeon, they might not know that these are options, So some patients want to have phallus preserving vaginal classy. Some patients want to have just a vulvaplasty which for some reason we decided to call minimal or zero depth vaginal classy which is like the no vagina of vagina surgery. I don't even know how that makes sense. And so,
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Queer Doc (they/them): Anyways, I've totally digressed and lost track of what we're talking about, which is how trans people have sex. So it does not have to involve putting something in someone else. I guess it was where I was starting at. we'll go back to that point and orgasm is not a requirement either. I love that. You called that and named that Grayson.
Grayson Schultz: but,
Queer Doc (they/them): And so it's what ever ways in, which people are choosing to connect and call Sexual or intimate and what? I feel like maybe Do you think we should give listeners? You look a lot of Allied providers on here who maybe have never had trans sex or red trans erotica, which if you haven't, you should
Grayson Schultz: You really should, it's super good.
Queer Doc (they/them): Give them a broad overview.
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Grayson Schultz: so, I think for me Transness is so interleached with queerness that That's immediately, what I think of when I think of trans folks, having sex, right? It can be everything from, My partner is somebody who has a phallus. I have a vagina. We do the penetrative stuff. Cool? to, Partner A has A vulva and a vagina partner. B has a penis and testicles partner. C has, whatever makeup each individual has And then whatever people decide to do with that, it can be, more, Blase was not the word I was looking for it is the word of hats in my head but more kind of run of the mill.
Grayson Schultz: Penetrative Sex. As you might imagine it It can be just using sex toys with each other. It can be strap-ons and butt sex which also side note. Why? The word eight anal sex does not sound right to me. It's like butt sex. or …
Queer Doc (they/them): But sex works for you.
Grayson Schultz: Yeah, I don't know why it's like anal sex just sounds. So
Queer Doc (they/them): Clinical. Yeah. Yeah.
Grayson Schultz: It does. Yeah. Anyway
Queer Doc (they/them): I think, another in our list of things we want to have sex like That trans disabled people want to have sex and sex is not really penetrative or orgasmic, it's whatever the people say it is. I think one of the other things that I'm hearing, Grayson,
Queer Doc (they/them): Bring to the table. Is that not everyone who's Tran has trans has bottom just for you. And even those of us who do have bottom dysphoria doesn't actually mean, we don't want to use ours, genitals for sexual practices. So do not assume that your trans patients.
Queer Doc (they/them): Don't want to have sexual practices with their general construction, as they were born with it, they may or may not and actually, one of my fundamental questions when talking to my patients about genderforming Medical interventions is How do you want to use your genitals now and How do you want to use them in the future? because those answers may change the medical options. I think of as the better fit for that patients with external genitals like patients with a phallus who want to continue to have erections for whatever purposes. I'm automatically gonna lean away from using anti androgens. I don't think we should put looper on the table. I don't think we should really look at.
Queer Doc (they/them): or finasteride or detastride, maybe by glutamide, if it fits, but really estrogen-based therapy plus production or a little later on is more where I'm going to lean into if it's congruent with their other goals for patients, I have some patients on T who are size queens, And you definitely lose elasticity of that. Internal canal as we described it earlier, With testosterone therapy. And so starting front hole estrogen. Early and heavily is And then Regular practice of massage, and stretching is going to be really important, For maintaining that Size space access. Maybe I should say sized royalty. I feel like size Queen is maybe a little Term.
Grayson Schultz: I love that.
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Queer Doc (they/them): I should Work in my speech practices. So yeah, I Really understanding our patients desires for how they want to use their genitals. And also understanding that desire They have for how they want to use them now and how they want to use them in the future.
Grayson Schultz: Yes.
Queer Doc (they/them): Maybe made me different. I have lots of patients who do actually want some form of gender affirming, bottom surgery in the future. But until then, they want access to certain specific things with their generals. Now, and…
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): so again it's just like don't assume because someone is trans they're not interested in sex things with the genitals, they have
Grayson Schultz: I also think it's important to think about,…
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah.
Grayson Schultz: one of the things I think that my brain lumped in to stuff when I said earlier, so much off or so often, when I think of trans sex, I think of queer sex is that One of the things what I think of queer sex. Right. is a communication aspect. And that' That's not the for everybody that's having a relationship or when I stand or whatever else like This is not overarching thing, but I think so much for those of us who work around sexual health, Sex is not cool. I'm just gonna show up at your house and we're gonna f***. And we'll be done in five minutes and I'll go home, an hour after that or whatever like it is. Let's go on a very queer, three day, long date.
Grayson Schultz: I'll wonder if I even should go home or just ship my stuff here whatever. But it's also talking through during that time period. What does sex look like? For me? We both enjoy? What are things that are not on the table, we talk a lot about? Yes, No maybe lists, And so, maybe vaginally penetrative sex is a maybe butt sex is a yes. And then maybe oral sex is maybe right? And then you can have those conversations. I think is really helpful, and I also think it's so related to BDSM, right? You're talking about boundaries, you're talking about,
Grayson Schultz: Looks like so that we can stop, And I think those things are so key to trans sex.
Queer Doc (they/them): Right.
Grayson Schultz: Because of dysphoria because of navigating spaces that we don't always know our trauma triggers, Because of that, too. I think there's more room to play with but before I had top surgery, sometimes I would have sex with a shirt on or a bra on or something like that so that I wasn't Dealing with visualizing my chest on my body but it was there as a showpiece, and similarly, right. other trans folks might only want to be intimate undercovers so that you're not necessarily viewing everything that's happening. Especially again, if dysphoria is a big part of things,
Grayson Schultz: That's more likely to show up. I think.
Queer Doc (they/them): yeah, and I think,
Queer Doc (they/them): You're? Pointing about communication I made one of She's not even really fully this and not even really fully straight. But she moves through the world with those privileges and her queerness is kind of incidental. for me and I think probably for you queernesses, the bell hooks quote is so applicable for me, it's not about who I have sex with. It is about having to create space. in this world and queerness was It was my gateway into questioning all of the boxes that society gave me.
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): And so really to me queerness is a life philosophy about
Queer Doc (they/them): radically. Questioning every societal structure an assumption and really trying to decide. What is the origin of this and does it fit for me or does it not fit for me and is there a space that feels Healthier or safer. And so, For her, queerness is just kind of an incidental part of our sexual experience, It's not necessarily I've built my life around this velocity. Yeah.
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Queer Doc (they/them): And so I talked about having sex with queer and trans people. we're just so much better at communicating and negotiating and sex and can't practices and she was pretty finished. She was hats as people can do that really well too. And I was like, Yes. And you have never had to walk into a conversation, really wondering whether or not the person you're talking to,…
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): you might kill you when they find out what kind of genitals you have. And or might like slander you and have forced you to lose your job when they find out you're interested in people with the same kind of genitals as you And so not every trans person has a great communicator. And not every system person is a bad community here. That is not what I'm saying here, but I'm seeing Trans and queer. People have to figure out how to communicate to Save our physical safety much sooner in sexual spaces than our SIS and straight counterparts. And I do think that what Grayson is saying is just leans and to this communication experience being really more direct and transparent. Which again these are techniques that benefit all humans who want to engage in sexual activities. And I think
Queer Doc (they/them): Leaning into the kind of the king stuff too. That Grayson's bringing up, not all trans disabled fat people are kinky, a lot of trans people are kinky, right? We don't have a ton of research on obviously, trans people having sex or kinky people or the intersection of trans and kinky people. But what limited research we do have actually does say right that people with Alternative sexual orientations are identities, right? Or are more likely to practice Pink.
Grayson Schultz: Okay.
Queer Doc (they/them): And so, there is going to be a higher rate of keep practices among your transmission. There's also going to be high rate of sex work right? isn't it like 73% of us?
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): I think was the last statistic I looked at are gonna do sex work at some point in our lives, right? And I'm a physician now but I've been kind of sex work. Adjacent at intermittently most of my adult life, and I'm still active in burlesque community which I think, as oftentimes the thought of us Not sex work or the acceptable form of sex work. But we are taking our clothes off for your entertainment and mostly for your money. tip your artist please.
Grayson Schultz: Yes.
Queer Doc (they/them): And so and trauma all of these intersections, right? I think one of those six I was looking at was something over 50% of trans people will experience intimate partner violence and I was like, Is it really just 50%? Because I feel like every trans person I know we have all had intimate partner violence.
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Grayson Schultz: Possibly higher, there's has to be it, just feel it,
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah. Yeah, yes. Okay, so trans people we want to have sex. we may or may not have dysphoria around our genitals and we may or may not want our generals involved in sexual practices and these are all things like as prescribing clinicians you should actually be trying to explore with your patients I always get consent before I ask these questions I ask Is it okay if we talk about sex stuff, is it Okay if we talk about your genitals and then there's lots of ways in which we have sex. It might involve as Grayson's at keeping all of our clothes on. And right, it might involve keeping certain parts of our clothes on in my involve just happy padding and touching. I was at this event this weekend.
Queer Doc (they/them): Sent her this podcast. and you know how to play session with a person where I was way too tired to talk anything safely, I was like Nope. spent can't do anything other than create some Central experience with us. So, we decided on and Keeping Our bottom underwear on and taking everything else off and we could touch each other with hands nails.
Queer Doc (they/them): Everywhere except Mal's in genitals, And That's what we did.
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah, and so sex has a huge space. They cannot involve genitals. and I think, Toys. Are something some of our Allied providers, might have last experience or exposure to, and they're such an important part of sex, both for trans people and disabled people because accessibility becomes so much better. And I think one as a clinician, it's really important, and to know what language people want to use, This is also important for trans people who are having sex with each other, one of the things we negotiate is What language, are we going to use for things, right? And some people definitely think of toys as toys and some people think of them as prostheses or body parts. And so it's very important to have that distinction and use the language as a person wants it.
00:45:00
Queer Doc (they/them): but yeah, what are some of your Sex supplements and for making sex more accessible.
Grayson Schultz: There's so many so I think for me, one of the things that I tend to talk to people about when I do presentation about accessible sex and things like that is, there's all sorts of harnesses you can get. So I think most People if they're familiar with harnesses as far as accoutremental go right there they're thinking about strap on harnesses where maybe somebody who doesn't have a phallus or who doesn't want to use their palace has Strappy underpants that they can, use a dildo with right? But the cool thing is they make those for all sorts of body parts. There's
Grayson Schultz: strap on harnesses for your thighs. So, if you're a wheelchair user and you still want the experience of somebody writing you, but maybe the space isn't right, or you don't have assistance to get out of your chair or something like that, having somebody straddle you and still be able to do other things with them. Not have to do the work, we are, that can be really helpful. They make all sorts of harnesses for, your mouth and other spaces, too, which can be really fun. So, that's always one spot that I go to I also really appreciate a wide variety of wand massagers that exist now, because they think
Grayson Schultz: You like initially one things like magic wand came out, it was like these are either for back pain or it's like the massager. Everybody's Mom had for back pain or for force this hat women, right? And Exactly.
Queer Doc (they/them): For a clit and a vulva.
Grayson Schultz: And the thing I think is beautiful about one massagers, is they are something that everybody can enjoy, it might not be everybody's cup of tea but it does not matter. Generally, speaking your genital alignment or how long you've been on any sort of hormone replacement therapy or even medications that might impact your libido
Grayson Schultz: People can find what they need to help them experience pleasure and whatever way they want to.
Grayson Schultz: In the different ways that one massagers exist. Now there are the Sola sink. I think it is that it's a really nice ergonomic setup. It's really lightweight to use the actual wand itself is ergonomic to. And so, you can use that a partner can use it, it comes with a remote. So it's something that could easily be strapped to somebody and then somebody who is a physically able to participate in sex can control the remote, whatever it is right there are different ways of sharing that intimate space together. There are sex toys. I think fun factory sells one called the Stronic that actually does penetration things like that, right? there's always things to keep in mind when there's things moving and friction and please buy lube.
Grayson Schultz: Okay, I'm supposed to say that,…
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah.
Grayson Schultz: But Don't make mistakes Other people may or may not have made one testing these toys. but, there's so many different things that I think It's really helpful to with sex, educators connect with, head educators at shops, right?
00:50:00
Grayson Schultz: They are often incredibly knowledgeable about some of these things. And so if you are helping a patient or you have some questions yourself, obviously, my virtual doors always open and also If you live in Seattle, if you live in New York, if you live in the Bay Area, if you live in Milwaukee, right? There's a ton of different places you can go. to have those conversation more in person or…
Queer Doc (they/them): Right.
Grayson Schultz: more in depth or recommend that you're patient, go check out that
Queer Doc (they/them): and Grayson is specifically speaking about Feminist own sex shops. Not like,
Grayson Schultz: Absolutely. Yeah. Not like lions den necessarily but the tool shed in Milwaukee early, Tibetan Chicago, there's a bunch of them in my brain is just
Queer Doc (they/them): she bop in Portland and Babeland and Seattle smitten.
Grayson Schultz: my God, let's think so much.
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah, and a lot of these places create great content on social as well. so even if you're not in one of these locations or your patient isn't, one of these locations, accessing some of that content is good and I do think, I do want to call out a lot of the things we're talking about do require time energy and money to access and right and obviously If we are, Trans and chronically disabled we're more than likely in a lower socioeconomic status. And
Queer Doc (they/them): And so it's accessing some of these things can be harder. transfamily Support services does a gender junk program for people up to the age of 30 and so if you need anything to help you in your gender expression, whether that's like a binder or a packer, or breast forms or some kind of harness and, there's potential for funding for that product there and then
Queer Doc (they/them): on getting connected with your local feminist sex shop or fetlife or your local dungeon nonprofit. If you happen to have one of those and primarily I'm to access and munches and meetups because definitely people do swaps definitely people who have more access and more resources to try out harnesses and different dildos and different wands. I can't tell you how many vibrators I bought and then decided they work for me And You can't return them once you've bought them. So I'm very happy to pass that on to someone else, right? and so, I think getting
Queer Doc (they/them): Having your patience plug into their local community for resource sharing and they're one of my partners. Now, we were friends back then they were going to travel internationally and they were trying to find. They love a magic wand. Hitachi is there. A cup of tea but they're like I don't want to travel internationally with my hitachi. So I would like a smaller vibrator that I can travel with and I was like, Do you want to come over to my house and test? the 42, I have and which one you want to buy for yourself? But instead of just trying to figure it out on your nose. And so there's definitely Support for that, and access for that. And a lot of, I know,
Queer Doc (they/them): I know one of the PARTIES here in Seattle and definitely decides this is the cost of the party for us. This is how much money we need to collect, but we're not going to If you cannot pay any money, we are still gonna have a space for you, And so there's sliding scale and each of us can choose where we can help support financially, and I definitely know are buypok, trans King party here in Seattle. And not only do they like And have sliding scale and unpaid spots for people to attend that they also have an opportunity for white allies to fund that. Right. So we can give money. So that
Queer Doc (they/them): People can access that party and so definitely it is a barrier for sure for people. There are some ways to work to minimize that barrier. I'm thinking about this very specifically because one of my favorite accessibility things is actually a swing which is only is it a more expensive purchase right?
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): You can get five harnesses for 20 bucks, And queer's a really crafty and make a lot of this s*** for themselves.
Grayson Schultz: Very true.
Queer Doc (they/them): But I think for me and my
Queer Doc (they/them): Chronic pain stuff and my joint and mobility stuff. And one of the best things I've ever found for me as a topping person is a swing it makes giving oral sex practices and then f****** someone and penetrative ways So much more accessible for my body and they're several hundred dollar purchase and then also, you're trying to store a giant metal frame somewhere in your house. but they like
00:55:00
Queer Doc (they/them): Make lots of a human very accessible. So, yeah, okay, wow, we've been talking about how we have sex and ways, we make sex more accessible and we used to participate in sex. What else should we talk about? For all of our listeners today?
Grayson Schultz: A good question. and you're like one thing, right? that folks tend to run into is
Grayson Schultz: But if I says, And I've shared, resources that I have, But where else do you find resources? What are other spaces that you can go to find, answers to questions and things like that? And I think that one of the resources I really appreciate is scarlettine
Queer Doc (they/them): Yes.
Grayson Schultz: they have a lot of for folks who are unfamiliar, if you think of early 2000s web page is…
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah.
Grayson Schultz: where you could submit a question and other people and Yahoo answers. But this is sex and it is you were getting answers from people who know what they're talking about. Yeah, it's like sex is gender. It's sexual orientation, it's kink, its disability, right. all of these different aspects,
Grayson Schultz: Really come together in the questions, people ask in the articles that are on the website so there's so much in spaces like that to learn and then they often link out to other resources that can be really helpful. Now, most of the things I would say, on scarlettine, I really like geared towards individuals. So maybe something where you find an answer on there and then you need to figure out how to translate it.
Grayson Schultz: I'm going to tell my patient really How do you have that conversation? And That's a whole other topic. But something like that, I think is really helpful. And then also teen Vogue and some of the other websites right now are just killing it as far as sharing stuff like auto straddle being vogue them into more.
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah.
Grayson Schultz: A lot of queer and Trans-focused websites or at least inclusive websites or talking more and more about the experience of being intimate, having relationships, having sex going to play parties, like what that looks like as trans folks, and as disabled, folks and as disabled trans folks and the whole gamut is really being represented and…
Queer Doc (they/them): We have a similar resource research.
Grayson Schultz: some of these spaces which is so cool to see.
Queer Doc (they/them): I Heather was on the podcast, the creator of scarlettine a few months ago and
Queer Doc (they/them): And one of my partners is actually very good friends with Heather. And then because I always love when people are re really you do you know this one random queer trans person in Philadelphia and I'm like, yes. I don't like that.
Grayson Schultz: Not everybody knows everybody. But yes.
Queer Doc (they/them): Of course we don't. All until they're about weirdly sometimes. Yes, we do. I think right but when you start overlapping all these intersectional identities right, queer poly kinky and gender diverse. it is a smaller community, but I'm also a huge fan of them and auto straddle definitely use those a lot and also,
Queer Doc (they/them): Really a big fan clinicians for again if you're an ally provider and all of this is a
Queer Doc (they/them): and I am a big fan of reading some p***. If you want to get a sense of some of the things or some of the activities or summit, some of what might happen and in queer and trans sex. I'm a huge fan of Reading Point. I'm also like, for people who want to watch fabulous, There are actually p*** creators in the world. And there are a lot of ethically created transform. That's really phenomenal. And I'm sure, Grayson, you have some resources. I have some on our queer. See me blog of How, to find ethical Born. Personally, I'm just not a huge, visual p***, watch or it's not what rocks my socks. And also, sometimes is a little too. Easy, whereas reading my p***, lex my brain. Create a story and image and doesn't necessarily
01:00:00
Queer Doc (they/them): For some ideal standard of beauty on me or right whatever. And so, I recommend this for my patients, all the time who have started hormone therapy, or maybe having a harder time, figuring out what is attractive to them now, or what turns them on, or what gets them off or how they're genitals work. And I'm get a queer transport anthology with a bunch of short stories and earmark, the ones that seem interesting to you, And same thing for clinicians, if you just want some general exposure and Then queer sex Smith has done some stuff. I love and sweet and rough and is I think very specifically one of theirs that I enjoy and do you have any? I read a lot of stuff on a03, but that's harder to recommend. To people.
Grayson Schultz: Yeah, one of my friends released an anthology. I think Or is about to release an anthology coming up, I'm like poking around on the website just to make sure. Yeah so they've released a couple of anthologies or a couple of pieces in anthology. Their name is a millin and I L L I N.
Grayson Schultz: And the website is just mx.
Queer Doc (they/them): My gosh,…
Grayson Schultz: And i L L I n.com Absolutely.
Queer Doc (they/them): can you share it? So I can write that down appropriate.
Grayson Schultz: A nilin I'm in a smartathon group.
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah.
Grayson Schultz: That is mostly British folks and people from the UK but Nilin did a lot of sex Ed for a long time and then started to rhetorotica. And so they're part of the smithathon they've about coming out next year about How do I succeed a guide for trans queer's? They've got this book called, Heck and lewd That came out in June of last year, They wrote a piece and trans bodies trans cells. That came out in April of last year,
Grayson Schultz: So they just do amazing work and a number of mutual friends have written for some of these anthologies. And so I know some of the stories from them being shared in the smartathon and some of these stories, if you do not find what you are looking for, in the world in these stories, I don't know where you're going to find them. But Fantastic resource. And for folks who are looking for more resources on finding queer and trans affirming, sex blogs and sex bloggers, no one has a really big list that I'm on, which is nice. But yeah, a number of other folks are on, which is really cool to be able to Go look at…
Queer Doc (they/them): yeah, I've definitely checked out coffee and…
Grayson Schultz: what other people are doing.
Queer Doc (they/them): kink before and Calvin sparks they have both made our list of recommendations as well as have you Sugarbutch is Sinclair sex Smith actually right
Queer Doc (they/them): This is a phenomenal list though, of
Grayson Schultz: It's amazing.
Queer Doc (they/them): sex blogs, and I'm super excited to actually add this to our list of resources and check some more of these out because there's definitely, some of my favorite content creators. Are you on this list? yeah, phenomenal. And so, definitely, I think for clinicians, again. I know. It's always hard. We're always balancing time and energy and stuff. But if you are finding, you are not able to help support your patients, any of your patients, whether there's this hat Trans Disabled or not.
Queer Doc (they/them): And link their sexual health needs. I think exposure is just a really important part of being able to be more comfortable in that space. And as clinicians, we don't have to have the answer to every question. That is not our job and one the other person in the room with us is also They are an expert in their own body. right. And two, I feel like maybe person This is part of why I was So, yes please come back because I feel like I'm also smog sitting on a horde of resources and I don't actually feel like it's my job to have the right answer for my patient all the time. I do feel like it's my job to help them find the right. are but our patients will not even be able to ask us the questions…
Grayson Schultz: Yes.
Queer Doc (they/them): if we don't create a space of safety and comfort for them and asking those questions. And sex is an area where physicians, in particular, do a really bad job. Right, our npmpa colleagues definitely do a much better job than we do and talking about sexual health needs and so part of it is we just don't get the training part of it is like medicine as a whole of kind of conservative.
Queer Doc (they/them): and so if we can really up our personal exposure, it's gonna be reflective in our practice, It doesn't mean you have to sit there and talk to your patient about the p*** you read. And that is not where I'm going with this, but having had that personal repetitive exposure, you're gonna desensitize your you're kind of misogyny, colonialistic patriarchally induced shame and shoulder raising that happens when someone brings up but sex, right? And so, yeah, highly encourage, you get an anthology, just chip your way through reading stories. Also, you might find something you find interesting that you didn't know about and even if you don't, you will create a space in your brain that has
Queer Doc (they/them): Welcomes more of this and your patients will feel that and feel safer in having these conversations with you. I was talking with a group of colleagues the other day and We were talking about. Sexual health, particularly in the relation to adolescent trans patients, Who get I mean success kids f****** sucks, right? no one really teaches you and Definitely, there are great sex educators, don't get me wrong but the school-based programs still really struggle with just the basics of consent, red flags,…
01:10:00
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): green flags and mutual pleasure. Right. We're still very focused on abstinence don't get pregnant and don't get a disease. and right, which I feel like Are all secondary to red flag, screenings and consent. And so,
Queer Doc (they/them): yeah, I think for trans kids, it's even worse and so I think as clinicians is really important part of our job to engage with our patients around this and offer them a safe place to ask questions. And again if we don't know the answer to those questions, no resources where they can get those answers.
Queer Doc (they/them): but one of my colleagues was talking about the way she incorporates it into her practice is asking about relationships. and I was like yes and I wasn't like yes and I was like that's just wrong and I'm working on my yes and okay but When we as clinicians frame questions around sex and sexual health, in the context of relationships, we immediately put a value statement around when and how sex should happen in someone's life. And so we immediately make it less Safe. For our patients to disclose to a sex that is happening outside of relationships. Whether that is, open relationships where people have just hookups that they don't have other intimate or personal connections to, whether that's abuse or trauma, right?
Queer Doc (they/them): And so, I think it's important that we really work to undo these assumptions of endosys, heteronormativity of monogamy and of sex happening in relationships and I think reading, queer and trans erotica is a really great way to start working on undoing that because it's also just fun.
Queer Doc (they/them): Wait and I saw on your website, you actually had resources. I'm working on implicit bias, And this is part of what we're talking about here. Do you have any other tips or tricks on doing implicit bias Assuming sisness assuming straightness.
Grayson Schultz: yeah, I mean, I think one of the things This used to work better before a beard actually grew. But if you were to look at a picture of my partner and I, before my beard started finally** grow in it is, you would have seen a couple that you would have assumed was his head. I hadn't had top surgery yet, whatever. we just were in spaces together in Very queer ways. But in ways that most people just assume, versus hut. And I think
Grayson Schultz: For me watching the way that other people have kind of opened their minds up to queerness by watching. this relationship as kind of like a microcosm, I think has been helpful for them. So if you've got friends you don't need to say to them, I'm going to watch your relationship unfold and face all of everything. I know about other people and similar situations off of you because you shouldn't do that in two. That's just a creep conversation.
Grayson Schultz: But I think part of this is watching and then engaging your reactions, each of us know what it's like when we tense up and we know that that's a stress reaction or a possible trauma trigger. And so if there are certain things that get your body to do that, it's important to keep track of those things like implicit bias can be one of those things that does that the stereotypical footage of a little old white lady in an elevator at the black man walks in and she pulls her purse closer to her. That's a great example of that same kind of body I have to preserve myself, right? And that's a very over and ridiculous, it's an area, it happens. So that's an example, I think when
Grayson Schultz: When we think about conversations, we've heard other people have to, that can be an example. So if you've ever heard someone come up to, a trans person if you share space with us, Have you had the surgery yet? if you immediately start having that this feels wrong. that's also like,
01:15:00
Grayson Schultz: I think we learned so much by observing the world around us by listening to the people around us and then just by doing some introspection. And I also think right that it's So key to think about these things, as being on spectrums of power, right?
Grayson Schultz: Gender and we think about who has power in gendered spaces, has a white man. I should have power I don't because of my transness and some weird ways, but There are some spaces, right where I might hold more power than somebody else and making room for that I think is important and for the nuances and funkiness that can come along with these things because identities aren't like identities are fluid. They're not set in stone, they're not going to be the same forever and
Grayson Schultz: That also means how they show up in the world and the way that people hold power in spaces is going to be in different time periods of their lives, which I think is interesting.
Queer Doc (they/them): Very interesting. I think Grayson's really calling out that So much of this work of undoing these assumptions around. Intersex cisgender heterosexual like normativity is just this quietness and being able to be in tune with what is happening inside of our bodies. When we were interacting with someone do we feel that? Maybe it's not as physically remarkable as pulling our reports towards our body but there's probably still something happening inside our body. a tightening of our pelvic floor a lifting of our diaphragm, and I think, That. other ways to chip away at this right is Have a pronoun day. Have a day where you don't
Queer Doc (they/them): and you don't actually put gendered pronouns into any space, and one of my partners really work towards Deconstructing, gender stereotypes in their mind by them pronouns for every single situation and human for an extended period of time, Which we've had some Come and complex trans Theory 507. We've had conversations around is that okay to do with someone who has specifically told you their pronouns are gender and This that or the other, but potentially do it with close friends or family members have a day where you do only neo pronouns with each other, right? Or every time you're about to ask, you're a nibbling, or your nephew are they,
Queer Doc (they/them): dating a boy or a girl or what is someone's pet's gender or when you assume someone 'S partner is this that or the other or you see someone's gender is this Saturday, or the other right? I think it's just like, We often talk about asking pronouns as being a very basic part of being infirming and inclusive. But The action of asking helps you stop assuming.
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): And so, I think it's just a really important starting point for undoing this. Bias. Grayson I've taken up so much of your time and I know you had some books you wanted to show us as well so I feel like you should do that before we sign off.
Grayson Schultz: So the first book is the ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability. There are so many different styles of Post-its in here because it's basically like my sex Ed Bible. I am lucky enough to know Corey Silverberg, who's one of the authors of this and it is Probably in need of an update, which I will bug Corey about into infinity until there is one, but it goes through some really great things such as desire and self-esteem sexual, anatomy, and response, and it's got some great visuals. There's queerness a lot of
Grayson Schultz: Bipioc representation in the art that's in here. And in the stories, they talk a lot about. Sex choice, slash accoutrement and a variety of other things that could be used kink and bdsm as ways to treat pain, which if that interests, anybody, please hit me up because that's always something that I'm interested in talking to people, more about, it's been very helpful for my chronic pain. to do impact play because I don't,
01:20:00
Grayson Schultz: And then the other is called Sex interrupted by Iris, Zink and Jenny Alter. I also wrote three of the appendices before I change my name, but there's information in here. Iris is a nurse practitioner in Michigan, who runs her own rheumatology practice, and really talks a lot about sex and arthritis specifically. But generally sex and disability. She gave a presentation at the American College of Rheumatology like annual meeting once dressed, as Wonder Woman, using a dildo for a pointer. So, she's literally our people and…
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah.
Grayson Schultz: she talks about her own journey as somebody who has pain, the different things that she's seen in patients, that she's treated. And then there's
Grayson Schultz: In here l about sex toys about sexuality and gender identity and then about how trans folks are new we exist and have existed forever.
Queer Doc (they/them): And this is true of disabled jokes and kinky folks as well. Right? they're keeping practices and…
Grayson Schultz: Really.
Queer Doc (they/them): Every. society that we have actually what and with the s* called,…
Grayson Schultz: The impedance.
Queer Doc (they/them): yeah,…
Queer Doc (they/them): that we have information about, right that we have,
Grayson Schultz: Yeah. Yes.
Queer Doc (they/them): Artifacts or whatever God words are hard today. and they're often incorporated into religious practices is right.
Grayson Schultz: Absolutely.
Queer Doc (they/them): There's often quite a bit of overlap between kink and religion and so this has been part of human existence forever. just trans people have Grayson, thank you so much for your time. I feel like I talk to you for seven more hours, but I'm sure you have things to do. is there anything else you would love people to know about finding you if they have questions? if they want you to come and talk to their facility or organization or
Grayson Schultz: So I have the chronic sex website. I also have one that's just my first and last name calm so Grayson Schultz.com and that has more of You want me to come help do this thing? Or, I am somebody who likes doing sensitivity reading for books or fiction, or communication work.
Queer Doc (they/them): Fingers Press, Do you do any of that for medical publications or research studies?
Queer Doc (they/them): To be interested in.
Grayson Schultz: so yeah, actually yeah, I
Queer Doc (they/them): I feel like that's a really great overlapping intersection for the work you do with Rheumatoid conditions as well. And this is something it seems to be reading is something and clinicians. I get asked us a lot, because I do get us to do a lot of media and our action. And then other clinicians ask me about my experience of doing media interaction and one of the very specific things I ask from anyone in the media who is going to publish a piece on trans health care and trans rights and pediatric trans health care is Do you have a trans person involved in writing this piece? Or do you have a sense to be reader?
Queer Doc (they/them): and then I have seen multiple burning piles of Lost research dollars because they did not have a sensitivity reader like proof their call to the research table or the actual survey that they were using with trans patients. And so this is Highly. if you're a researcher and If you are not immersively on doing your bias, and all of these areas yourself and definitely getting someone who has been doing that work to read your content and would be well money. spent
Grayson Schultz: And I said, I've published some journal articles around rheumatology interventions and some things like that. I do a lot about patient engagement. I have a study, I'm finishing up right now that I pulled information from patients about how they feel, they can't talk to their providers about sex and gender and sexual orientation. And so this is all stuff. I'm Super Emerson and can talk about for hours. Which also means that I can read about it for hours so please, feel free to reach out. I also love doing presentation, I love doing Equity Conversations I love doing accessibility audits. I don't know, I love doing whatever I can do to help the healthcare world be better. I had
01:25:00
Grayson Schultz: this is just a side ending thing I guess. But One of my closest friends who really got me. I guess ignited right around patient advocacy work and was like no you should talk about being trans when I came out and really affirmed me passed away. Right before my birthday else. that was a rough week. but six weeks ago and she
Grayson Schultz: is somebody that would talk just about everything too. And she had this great quote about, the only way we're gonna hack this universe into a more Human-friendly place is keep fighting all of us to keep pushing that needle. And so, whatever ways I can help you all push that needle please please. I would love to talk more even if it's just a brainstorm.
Queer Doc (they/them): And I will include Grayson's website information on the little blurb about the podcast. thank you so much. Grayson, it was lovely to have Okay, I will stop this recording.
Grayson Schultz: Thank you.
Queer Doc (they/them): Thank you. Is there anything besides our lake? And let's talk about the people. We f***** that you want me to take.
Grayson Schultz: I don't think so. I think that's the only thing.
Queer Doc (they/them): Okay, great. Thank you. much if there is ever anything.
Grayson Schultz: Thank you.
Queer Doc (they/them): I know I think you actually invited me to that one phase and I was like time I think that was during legislative session and…
Grayson Schultz: yeah. It was. Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): my timing which is not available but Anything else I'm happy to support Whatever. And My life is a little less. Overwhelming. Now it was just like the
Grayson Schultz: Yeah. I feel you.
Queer Doc (they/them): yeah. thank you so much though and I'm super excited about this trains and queer sex vlogs and
Grayson Schultz: I know no one is such a cool human anyway and they write really great stuff but to see them doing, Anthologies and pulling stuff together like that is awesome. and I know I think the one that came out in June, of last year, I have at least two other friends that wrote for it, but I helped kind of edit their stories before they sent them over and they're good.
Queer Doc (they/them): And I'm assuming They have a patreon somewhere.
Grayson Schultz: I would say.
Queer Doc (they/them): How much of their? Horn is kinky.
Grayson Schultz: Almost.
Queer Doc (they/them): And are there any tentacles or worms?
Queer Doc (they/them): Or monsters.
Grayson Schultz: I'm trying to remember there was one on the last Spotify in October, but I can't remember if Nolan read it or if it was someone else, Yeah, but I'll let you know when Smudathon is happening because
Queer Doc (they/them): I'll check it out either way.
Grayson Schultz: when they start bringing that back again, we usually hop on a,…
Queer Doc (they/them): I would love it. Yeah.
Grayson Schultz: I don't know an hour long zoom call or something like that and people who want to read kink and smut that they've written will read it and then people who don't want to will just listen and be like my God that sounds amazing.
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah, I would love this. I'm like, Please sign me up. I want to one of my partners. I like this. huge, so, I kind of thought I didn't have
01:30:00
Queer Doc (they/them): Shame around any of my kinks, I've been doing this for a long time now, And don't get me wrong, there's always some shame there, that's part of what makes it hot, but …
Grayson Schultz: Yes.
Queer Doc (they/them): that lake. active, huge, thing, most of that works been undone and then I decided I was really interested in lactating and then I was like, wait no, I feel really About this. I feel Really have a lot of feelings about this.
Queer Doc (they/them): but it all started off of this Ao3 piece that Was so hot and I sent one of my partners and who also thought it was so hot. And
Queer Doc (they/them): They do bookbinding as a hobby and so they printed it and bound it for my birthday. Yeah.
Grayson Schultz: That's so precious.
Queer Doc (they/them): So good, so good. Yeah. Yeah,…
Grayson Schultz: because,
Queer Doc (they/them): And I don't know. Who knows? One day, maybe I will lactate, maybe I won't. I am the doctor who knows how to do that. I'm the doctor that many people come to To have that happen. But I'm also way too busy to have that many hormones coursing through my body and…
Grayson Schultz: Right here.
Queer Doc (they/them): making me have feelings.
Grayson Schultz: my God, having to just monitor bra status and, Feels like a lot of extra work too.
Queer Doc (they/them): It's a lot of extra work, we've talked about it and we're like, Okay, these are the things that we need to happen before I decided to give this much of my time and energy.
Queer Doc (they/them): to a kink and right, but also It's really hot to give that much time and energy to okay?
Grayson Schultz: It is, yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah, but there's a few goals I need to accomplish for and then I decided…
Grayson Schultz: Smart way to think about it.
Queer Doc (they/them): if I actually want to do it, or if I just want to keep it in my head,
Grayson Schultz: I mean, I don't know. you could always fashion a bra slash harness. That could do the same thing and see how you feel about it then.
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, we definitely ended up with A breast pump and playing with that, it's like, pumping in section. And, those are all things outside of the fact that it's actually a breast pump, like I played with before, And our sensations.
Grayson Schultz: Right.
Queer Doc (they/them): I find interesting, but haven't actually thought about Fashioning something that would Create fluid anywhere. Which would be an interesting step in that direction. Who knows there's so much to unpack there.
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): So this is in the world of my kinks, a fairly Newer one. So, Work to…
Grayson Schultz: That's fair.
Queer Doc (they/them): work to do. Right. But anyways lots of extra information about me that you did not need to know.
Grayson Schultz: I think between you knowing so much about your patients' lives because I know I'm that patient that overshares with folks like that and then like me having the same experiences with sex ed stuff.
Queer Doc (they/them): yeah, and you caught me on three days after I can't weekends where I'm fairly useless for the working. So,
Grayson Schultz: So hard to adjust. my God.
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah, I was talking. This is the last thing I'll leave you with. just as a idea. I love desire. I don't know how much know about it. It started off as a women's weekend like Sis love,…
Grayson Schultz: That's right. Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): And it has really become a space for all genders are welcome mixed up assessment and so there is a fairly decent, gender, queer trans contingent, but it's definitely still very women-centric and there's still some people who are they're very nice about pronouns but they're like, I'm gonna get it wrong and there's still a lot of assumptions about People's gender and partners, and things like that. And I was just thinking about, I love this space and I would love to have another space that is somewhat similar but is really no CIS, people in general and…
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): What would that feel like to have?
Queer Doc (they/them): a key conference begins, where This just isn't part of it.
01:35:00
Queer Doc (they/them): I don't have the capacity to organize something like that right now in my life.
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): But I feel like It is something I would like to see created. And so it's on my list of I would like to get to this before I die, if someone else does it.
Grayson Schultz: I think that that's such a cool idea. And I think it opens up a bigger question which then maybe is the theme that every year or something related to it of What does liberation look like if cis people? Aren't involved what does our sexual liberation look like What does our expressionary liberation look What does it look like to dismantle other systems of oppression while we're talking about a lack of cisness, Omitting cis,…
Queer Doc (they/them): Right.
Grayson Schultz: folks, those kinds of things would be so interesting.
Queer Doc (they/them): and I do think it's a both and right I have to, intellectually say that I can't say I want a world with no sense. People even though sometimes but I do the great. We live exist in the world as it is and there are many Ways in which we are all human. And I would rather that be the priority of the connection. and being in spaces that are completely trans as there's an inch of my shoulders that I didn't realize was raise until I was in that space. And so to have that overlap with Atkinson.
Queer Doc (they/them): For a whole weekend, because they've had that for a night but It would just be.
Queer Doc (they/them): Really exciting. In case you want to organize a king conference in your free time.
Grayson Schultz: I mean, I just have to figure out, just
Queer Doc (they/them): Right, I mean I think it could happen.
Grayson Schultz: I mean, I think we could rent out a Boy Scout camp. Because then it's extra fun.
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah, I think we can get a space donated,…
Queer Doc (they/them): we need someone.
Grayson Schultz: Yeah. Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): We are talking about trans liberation, you should donate that space.
Grayson Schultz: It's a good time.
Queer Doc (they/them): Yeah. Yeah.
Grayson Schultz: To ruminate more on this.
Queer Doc (they/them): Really. I mean I know they do Trans camp here in Seattle, I've heard it's actually hot mask.
Queer Doc (they/them): And when I feel like the fun things about desire is they do it is there is all the plays outdoors, not most of it, which for accessibility purposes, like We would have to keep an eye in sense on having maybe some combination of species, but it definitely allows for a lot more, piss play, blood play, right?
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): It allows for a lot of play that most engines, can't welcome, which I think is such a fun. as someone who likes peeing and blood leave Yeah,…
Grayson Schultz: Yeah.
Queer Doc (they/them): one of my friends was like my goal this weekend is never to peanut toilet. It's only to pee on people. I was like I think we're gonna be good friends.
Grayson Schultz: That's fantastic.
Queer Doc (they/them): So okay I will let you go. Thank you so much for your time. Stay in touch, please ask me to do anything and if we decide to organize a King conference, I'll be really excited. I brought it up.
Grayson Schultz: I hope you too. take care. Bye.
Queer Doc (they/them): Alright.
